Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
