U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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