I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
