just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
