shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
