we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She's JV to your varsity
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
