I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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