went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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