She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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