The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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