he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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