I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
