you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
