if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
