Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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