Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The adults are the big ones right?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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