the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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