Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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