i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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