i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
3 2 1 whiskey
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
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