she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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