i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
