My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
