she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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