the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Can I color on your dick again?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
