I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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