Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
