Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
only you would photoshop your dick
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
