Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
