1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
