That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
