it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
