All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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