I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
