His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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