I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
