Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
