Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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