That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
