We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
