he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
