peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Randomize
