She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
