I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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