he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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