You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude i'm inner monologue high
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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