Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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