Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
