Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
