I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Never joke about your clitoris.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
