I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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