I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
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