We're facebook friends in real life
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
