Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
